were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize