Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
