so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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