Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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