Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize