I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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