I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
