hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
