Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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