HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
