im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
