You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just found a bag of teeth...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
