I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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