you guys were way drunker than both of me
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
