...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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