she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
