I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
