You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
