i permit you to call me
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
