I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
