I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
