saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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