my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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