You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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