never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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