Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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