yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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