i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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