The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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