I hope mine doesn't look like that
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
