Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she peed on how many people?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
