I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
