Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
