I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
