you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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