I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I seem to have left my pride at pride
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Randomize
