i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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