windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
