So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
