Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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