i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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