She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
