I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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