people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
