We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
