I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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