I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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