You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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