It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize