i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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