found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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