All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
