VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
