how can u be prego again
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
we made out on top of his cat.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
