she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize