We won't sleep together?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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