Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
