Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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