He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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