If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
