Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
