The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
