I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
