just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
