I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
