who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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