I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
the day after is always just damage control
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Randomize