At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
