nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
