Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
