I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
