so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
