He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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