"it" just moved
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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