for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
